Hello. I have two pennies to rub together here.
First, Mark, I feel your pain in BG as a new player. It's discouraging to play and play and play BG, especially with your spawn point camped, only to get a handful of credit at a time.
It's a frustration, to be sure.
Furthermore, you're correct.
Without a random queue, friends (often geared way up there) will play with their friends, who are also geared way up there. The server has existed for a decade at the least, and people have joined and have been retained here. Even with a server restart, friendship endures. =D
They're friends, real friends, and have worked together and have played together for years. They want to play with their friends. ^^
This is only natural.
That leaves people like you and me, people who have just joined the server within the past few weeks or months, to be assigned against them, dying constantly for our handful of credits. lol
To counteract this discouragement, I have taken to farming petit for zeny, and enchanted peach tree for dead branches and have created a professor.
By no means would that professor be considered 'geared'. They have a mistress card, that's about it.
I've made friends and acquaintances on the server that often will be kind enough to kill the MvP, and often we will share the drop. So far I have been able to get a few nice cards and a couple of decent gears this way.
On occasion I will play the mini games. Most people seem to enjoy buying the mini game credits even now.
When I play WoE, it's with a guild, of course, that seems to tolerate me enough. I'm wearing a combination of rental, farmed, and borrowed gear that I'm sure that I could use in BG. Being geared, naturally, does not counteract not knowing one's class, and that seems to be my deepest challenge right now. The class that I would normally choose does not perform the function it would ordinarily cover in most other servers here. It's a perversion of what I know that class to be, so I have selected another two that vaguely seem to be in my play style.
When I consider that I am playing a new class, in a place wherein friends have established themselves over the past DECADE or so, this reduces the sting of always feeling like an "Outsider" to me. I have a handful of people that I trust here, good solid people that I know that I can speak with for advice, assistance, or yeah, even a borrowed gear. XD Also, and this is the most important; someone to speak with just friendly talk.
This game is hella lonely without friends. I've played AloneRo on purpose before, but I hate playing LonelyRo when I want company. XD
Pretty sure that the guild that adopted me did so out of pity, more than anything. Pretty sure that I'm a source of amusement and pity than genuine friendship HOWEVER at least they're kind enough to provide me guidance and direction in this new class, AAAAAND friendly words of encouragement. ^_^
I would encourage you to find a beginning niche, Mark. In fact, I would encourage any new player here to find a beginning niche. There's some really stellar people on this server, ever willing to lend a hand or advice. For the most part, this server is non-toxic. Sure, you'll have the occasional acrimonious remark over #irc, but in general this server is more of an extended family than most I have seen.
The only thing that I would have to add is that it'd be nice to see the Gods walking more amongst us; the GM team being in Amatsu, or hiding, and following a random player to speak over their shoulder.
That would be something spectacular to me.
Best wishes!